Follow-up: Proposal Sent
Cold email
CFO
Neutral
✘ Original Message
Hi [First Name], I wanted to check in on the proposal I sent last week. I hope you've had a chance to review it. Please let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything I can clarify. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, [Your Name]
✔ Best Rewrite
[First Name], Checking in on the proposal from [Date]. Three quick things: 1. Pricing is valid through [Date] 2. If budget is the blocker, I can explore a phased approach 3. Happy to jump on a 10-min call to walk through any questions with your team What's the best next step? [Your Name]
Micro-Yes Line
“Reply 'phased' if you want that option, or 'call' to set one up.”
Why This Lands Better
- Created urgency (pricing valid through date)
- Anticipated objection (budget) and offered solution
- Three concrete options to move forward
- Specific micro-yes ("reply phased or call")
- Removed filler ("I hope you've had a chance")
#follow-up#proposal#sales#B2B
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